The Dreaded Blue Bulb
July 16th, 2009
When my youngest cousins were babies, my aunt would regale us at family gatherings with tales of The Dreaded Blue Bulb. It swoops out of the sky and attempts to suck out your brain. Run!
Her kiddos were absolutely traumatized by The Dreaded Blue Bulb which, as you may have guessed, is in fact a nasal aspirator, designed to forcibly remove snot from your offspring’s nose.
Miss Mouse is likewise vehemently opposed to the application of The DBB, and it is incredibly difficult to suction your child’s wee nostrils when she is flailing about and thrashing her head from side to side. I nearly sucked her eyeball out the other day.
I, on the other hand, derive a somewhat perverse pleasure from The DBB. I think it stems from that same dark place that secretly enjoys tweezing rogue eyebrow hairs and squeezing blackheads. It’s just so satisfying to disgorge the bulb post-suction and see all those boogers that are no longer residing in her head.