South of the Mason-Dixon
September 19th, 2009
How can you tell when you’re in the South? Here are four key indicators:
Seriously, it’s everywhere. It looks kind of cool from a distance but, according to our tour guide, is home to chiggers, ticks, lice, and all manner of other nasty buggers. If you should feel compelled to take some home and decorate with it (apparently it looks nice with plant arrangements), you should microwave it for a while first to kill all the inhabitants. Uh. No, thanks.
Oh, yes. They are everywhere. And we’re not just talking “Savannah Baptist Church.” Oh, no. Victory in Jesus Baptist Church. Greater Freewill Baptist Church. Holy Spirit True Gospel Down with the Heathens Baptist Church. (Okay, I made that last one up but I did see one with a sign that said: “One cannot govern rightly without a Bible in hand.”)
If you’ve ever driven South, this one should be self-explanatory.