Wee Savage

April 7th, 2010

My Facebook status today read thus: “Kate…can relate to those wild animals who eat their own young.”

Seriously. Welcome to the world of parenting a toddler. There are days when I seriously contemplate stuffing her in a diaper bag and stowing her away in the laundry room for safe keeping for a few years.

This morning, for example, she woke up a bit early and super cranky. Fuss, moan, weep.

We came downstairs for breakfast and she decided that she could not would not eat her breakfast in her high chair or anywhere that wasn’t my lap. I tried to firmly but kindly enforce the “you must eat in your high chair” rule. She screamed so loud and so long that it woke up my soundly sleeping husband who staggered downstairs in a sleepy fog to see who was killing the child and why.

So I caved and let her sit on my lap. Which resulted in a big smear of jelly on the nice white shirt I was going to wear to work.

Then it was time for The Dreaded Diaper Change. Shriek, scream, kick, sob.

Then she was forced to leave her toys behind and not take them to school. Flail, weep, gnash, writhe.

I remember reading a few months ago that toddlers average about one tantrum every twenty minutes or so and I thought to myself “no, that’s not possible.”

Well, this morning I counted four distinct freak outs in forty minutes so she’s actually beating the average. What an accomplishment!

Later today, I felt somewhat better about the relative civility of my own offspring, though, when I received a call from her teacher to say that one of Miss Mouse’s wee friends had bitten her at school. So, it could be worse. At least she’s not the one doing the biting. Yet.

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