Fifty Three Chances to Practice Patience
May 12th, 2010
Fifty three minutes. FIFTY THREE MINUTES. That’s seven minutes shy of an hour. That’s also how long it took us to get out of the parking garage the other night after attending a baseball game.
Fifty three hair-pulling, blood pressure elevating, “find the happy place” minutes — at 11 o’clock at night. It wasn’t the best hour of my life. As I may have mentioned, I don’t wait patiently. It’s just not what I do.
But seriously, would you have done any better? We don’t even park that close to the ballpark! We park in a lot across the river because it’s cheaper and because you’re supposed to be able to avoid That Kind of Nonsense.
Sadly, the garage is in close proximity to the theater district and as ill-chance would have it, not one but two shows were letting out at precisely the same moment that the game did. The stars were aligned against us.
Our hour of captivity — in addition to affording many opportunities to practice patience — also gave us time to compile a list of best practices for future trips downtown. They included:
1) Always park on the downward slope of the parking garage. It’ll mean driving all the way to the top and then coming back down a piece when you arrive, but it is well worth it to be closer to the exit at the end.
2) Back into your parking spot. I used to inwardly scoff at people who did that, until I watched the ease with which they forced their way into the wall of exiting vehicles. Now I know.
3) Take the smaller car! Always drive the smallest vehicle you’ve got when you anticipate spending time in a parking garage. It’s easier to get in and out of spots and easier to wedge your way into traffic.
4) If you really want a hassle-free garage experience, leave your neurotic wife at home to avoid a minute-by-minute harangue about the evils of waiting as you sit.