Home Alone

May 28th, 2010

Josh is out of town for a couple days visiting his family in West Virginia. He took the dog, leaving Miss Mouse and Mom to fend for themselves for a few days. As is always the case on occasions such as these, I find myself pondering the Herculean effort it must take to be a single parent.

How do they do it??

My husband will be away for just over 48 hours and I seriously considered calling in backup in the form of my best friend or some family member. It is tough to be the only one on duty with kids. Or even just “with kid.” It took me a full year of parenthood before I figured out how to shower on days when I had solo baby duty.

I have a co-worker who is a single mom to two little girls, one about Mouse’s age and one a few years older. This angel of a woman was a foster mom for many years with dozens of kids benefiting from her love. Right now, one of her daughters is still officially part of the foster care system, while the other has been legally adopted. I don’t know how she does it. And, she manages to appear at work every day looking rested and put together. With makeup on, for goodness sake! I’m very impressed.

This time around, with Josh out of town, I found myself plagued by a ridiculous and irrational fear that something would happen to me. That I’d die in my sleep, but no one would know, and Miss Mouse would be stuck in her crib for two days until he returned home.

Okay, I know. It’s absurd. But I tell you, the image got stuck in my brain and I couldn’t get rid of it. I was lying in bed last night in full panic mode, imagining my poor girl wearing a seriously dirty diaper and weeping in her crib. I couldn’t sleep. I finally had to call Josh and make him promise to call me in the morning to be sure I was alive.

I have no idea where that came from. I’m not usually prone to paranoid worst case scenario delusions. Maybe it’s the hormones.

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