Here’s Your Sign

September 19th, 2010

There’s a country comedian named Bill Engvall who tours with Jeff Foxworthy and someone else on a “Blue Collar Comedy Tour.” One of Engvall’s best bits is a “here’s your sign” number he does. The basic premise is that stupid people should carry or wear a sign indicating their status as such, which would help innocent bystanders steer clear and never rely on them for advice. His funniest applications involve people asking wildly obvious questions. For example…

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said — “You still here?” I replied “No, I left 10 minutes ago…Here’s your sign.”

Or…Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said “Tire go flat?” I said, “Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here’s your sign.”

Pregnancy seems to bring out the sign-wearer in many people. There’s just something about a pregnant person that drives normally intelligent people to say dumb things. Like at church today, as I waddled around, someone remarked — “Still, pregnant, huh?” Uh, nope. I left the baby at home and decided to stick a pillow under my shirt for fun. Here’s your sign…

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