Paging Martha

February 15th, 2011

For our Valentine’s Day dinner, I made heart-shaped calzones.

Or not. That’s the picture from the parenting website where I found the idea. Mine looked like this.

Paging Martha Stewart! We need a Martha in aisle one STAT.

Now, in fairness to the creators of the recipe, I didn’t use their dough recipe, opting instead for frozen bread dough (which I’ve used before to make regular calzones). Maybe their dough is fundamentally different from the one I used and that explains why I was utterly and completely unable to wrestle mine into anything resembling a heart. Or a circle. Or anything other than a blob from the planet Pepperoni. The big problem was that the dough wouldn’t hold its size. I got it rolled out, cut out a large heart with a cookie-cutter…and then watched it shrink to the size of a postage stamp before my very eyes. When I tried to roll it bigger after I cut it, irrevocable distortion set in.

So I gave up and made regular calzones. Which refused to stay sealed and instead oozed all over the cookie-sheet. Happily, they tasted just fine.

And my strawberry jiggle-hearts were adorable.

This was another recipe from the Sneaky Chef and this one actually worked. Basically you use fruit juice and plain gelatin instead of the freaky sugar/additive melange of regular jello. Still not exactly health food, but it could be worse.

Rounding out the meal was strawberry yogurt. And peas. Which didn’t quite fit the theme but I was at a loss for Valentine vegetables!

4 responses to “Paging Martha”

  1. G'Mom says:

    The photo of the original calzones looks like pie crust dough which would hold its shape just fine. I can't imagine any yeast dough holding a heart shape.

  2. Mr. T says:

    I heard a rumor that when Miss Mouse saw these 'heart-shaped' calzones, she dropped numerous expletives and then rode her bike to Taco Bell!

  3. Kate says:

    @G'Mom — I thought that too, although the recipe clearly calls for yeast. I wonder if that's one of those "bait and switch" recipes where they totally cheat by photographing something else!!

  4. Kate says:

    @Mr. T — I pity the fool who tries to convince Miss Mouse to eat sub-standard decorative foods.

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