A Conversation With My Muffin Top

August 8th, 2013

Attention, Muffin Top.  You are officially on notice.  Your days are numbered.

What?  What are you talking about?  We’ve been spending some nice quality time together for the past several months years.

You’re right.  We’ve had a good run.  But I miss my old pants.  You know, the ones I wore before I got pregnant?

But your maternity pants have that nice stretchy band on the top.  They’re comfy.

They are pretty fabulous, but when you’re not pregnant, they aren’t maternity pants anymore.  They’re fat pants.  Every time I put them on, I feel chubby.

There’s nothing wrong with a little chub.  You just had a baby four months ago, you know.  

I’m not saying you’re going to disappear overnight.  It’s a process.  I’m just warning you that I’m getting serious about shrinking you.

Hrmph.  You know, this might not be as easy as you think.  You’re no spring chicken anymore, lady.  You’re on the wrong side of thirty to be shedding pounds willy-nilly.

I activated my trial membership at the Wellness Center and am going to not one but two classes tomorrow.

What?? *sniffle* How could you?  

It had to be done, Muffin Top.  I may never wear a two-piece swimsuit again but I am not – repeat NOT – going to spend the rest of my life wearing the size I currently do.  I’m just not.  So please begin planning an orderly departure from my life.

Fine…hey!  Look over there!  Is that chocolate?

I hate you.

 

 

4 responses to “A Conversation With My Muffin Top”

  1. G'MOM says:

    Love it! I hope yours listens better than mine has. Good luck and good bye Muffin Top.

  2. Jo Burkhalter says:

    I burst out laughing at my desk this morning! I’ve been having the same conversation with my muffin top (also known as the bike tire) for some time. And I did NOT have a baby four months ago. Never, actually. You go girl! I got a gym membership several months ago and haven’t lost a pound, but observe that the tire is getting firmer. Courage!

  3. Jaclyn B. says:

    Hahahahaha! I have the same conversation with mine. But it is stubborn. Really stubborn. And I really, really like chocolate. I hope you are firmer with yours than I am with mine….. :) good luck, KaterSkater!

  4. […] last year, I got interested in the idea of running as a way of combating my post-baby muffin top.  Instead, I joined the gym, and that was fun for a while.  Zumba is a good time.  But I’m […]

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