Eight Years

August 5th, 2014

Dear Josh,

We’ve been married for eight years and yet right now the world feels new.  I’ve got a new job and we’ve got a new house.  Granted, we don’t live in it yet.  The carpet smells suspiciously like dog pee, the walls are sea-foam green, and the most romantic thing we’ll do today is dig out poke weed from the front beds together.

I couldn’t ask for more.

It’s been quite a year.  The haze of sleep deprivation has slowly receded and all of a sudden, we’re parenting a sprightly toddler, a loving whirlwind of a preschooler, and a brilliant, sensitive kindergartner.

It’s been a year of transformation, my love.  I’m not going to go into it here, but know that I know.  To quote Zeke – “I hear you, and I see you.”  It’s a powerful thing to stare down your demons – or even just to name them and tell them to prepare for battle.  I’ll tell you what, babe – my money is always on you in a fight.

It’s been an amazing year, hubs.  We’ve come a long way since…

One year ago…Life was a blur of muddy shoes, bug bites that needed cream, squabbles over toys, and a nursing a baby.   Forget about a romantic dinner for two.  I was doing good to shower.  But we were riding out the crazy together, my love.  You and me, in the trenches of parenting.  I was lucky to have you with me.

3 of us

Two years ago…We were settling in to country living.  I was drunk on the wonder of it all, marveling at small town festivals and walking to the post office and lazy evenings sitting on the porch.   You were at peace, breathing deep and digging in to a new congregation.  Buggie and Miss Mouse acted like every cow they saw was the most amazing creature they had ever beheld.

Three years ago…We were up and down.  I had made a job change that was long overdue and was flying high at my new job.  But you were weighed down by a call that had run its course.  Parenting in the city was losing its luster and a different life was calling to us.  We just didn’t know it yet.  But very soon, the phone would ring and a few minutes later, you’d pop your head into the den and speak the five words that changed our life: “How small is too small?


Four years ago...Parenthood was looming once again as we prepared to welcome Buggie to the world.  You were fearless.  I was terrified.  What did I know about siblings?  But you held my hand as our son arrived and all I could do was sob: “I love you I love you I love you” – and I was talking to you both.  I’d never seen anything as magical as the sight of you kissing his tiny perfect nose.

Five years ago...The baby fever was creeping in and we were starting to think about becoming a family of four.  We got away, just the two of us, and cleared the baby fog from our brains for a week in Savannah.  We rode bikes and visited book stores and quoted Forrest Gump and talked.  About things other than diapers and ear tubes and when is that child ever going to sleep through the night?


Six years ago…I was chubby, you were rocking a great goatee, and we were bursting at the seams with love.  And also with baby.  Miss Mouse was getting ready to make her entrance.  I’d started blogging again, the pregnancy helping me to find my voice.  We wrote together, even composing posts from the point of view of the dog because that’s what you do when you’re young and in love and still have free time before you become parents.

Niagara Falls 044

Seven years ago…I had a job I loved and you were working retail because you had a wife you loved who had a job she loved.  We stayed in Pittsburgh so I could establish my resume and you waited patiently to follow your call to full-time ministry.  A few months later, it came!   You were excited about the church.  I was excited about the house.  The dog was excited about the deer in the backyard.  You asked me every day if I was happy, and the answer was yes.

Eight years ago...it was hot and sticky in Pittsburgh and I stood with my sweeping white dress draped over a free-standing air-conditioning unit while waiting for the ceremony to start.  I stuck my tongue out at you as I walked down the aisle to keep from tearing up.  You told me later that my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I realized that our beloved professor based his homily on my least favorite verse in the entire Bible.  We ate spaghetti at our wedding reception.  It was the beginning.  We were poised on the brink of the rest of our lives and what I remember most about that day is the laughter.

Wedding Pic

4 responses to “Eight Years”

  1. Papu says:

    Wonderful memories and we love you, all five, all the more.

  2. Jenny Tomkins says:

    What a lovely love letter to Josh. He must be quite a guy. Love to you both.

  3. Debbie says:

    Kate, this may be the best thing I have read of your’s!

  4. April says:

    You’re both so lovely. Love you bunches. You made me tear up a little (I’m trying to keep it under control so no one asks me why I’m crying).

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